smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
