So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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