i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
