Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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