i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
