I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
