I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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