So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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