College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
