I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
