I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
