friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
