I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
