Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
