Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
