Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
