So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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