I just saw a hot homeless man
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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