I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
