The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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