he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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