is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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