so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm jealous of your bromance
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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