Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
