so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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