The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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