Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
