Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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