i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
is it fun? or sober?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
