i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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