remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
