DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
