THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
How does it feel to date your dad?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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