I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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