Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
