Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize