dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
