i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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