so let's talk penis.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize