Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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