I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
