once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
