you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I have post one night stand depression
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