Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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