LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
