This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
