If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
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