awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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