pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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