Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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