somebody snuck up and got me drunk
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
