I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
