my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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