i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
