Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
