btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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