please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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