Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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